Ever been ghosted? One minute you’re chatting away, the next – silence. Ghosting is frustrating, confusing, and sadly all too common in modern dating. In this blog, I’m breaking down why it happens and, more importantly, how to handle it like a pro.
Ghosting in Dating: Why It Happens and How to Handle It
As a professional matchmaker, if I had a £ for every time someone mentioned being ghosted, I’d be sipping cocktails on a beach somewhere right now! Ghosting has become the dating buzzword of the decade. One day, you’re messaging back and forth like you’ve known each other forever, and the next – poof, gone! It’s frustrating, confusing, and let’s be honest, downright rude. But why do people ghost, and how should you handle it when it happens? Let me break it down for you.
What Is Ghosting?
In case you’ve been lucky enough to avoid it (and good for you if you have!), ghosting is when someone suddenly cuts off all communication without explanation. No texts, no calls, no closure – just silence. It leaves you staring at your phone, wondering what on earth went wrong.
But here’s the thing: ghosting rarely says anything about you. It’s more about the person doing the ghosting and their inability to handle emotional situations.
Why Do People Ghost?
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Surely it’s common decency to say you’re not interested?” You’d be right. But ghosting isn’t always about malice; sometimes, it’s just about avoiding awkwardness. Let’s look at a few reasons why people ghost:
Conflict Avoidance – They don’t want to have “the talk.” Whether it’s saying they’re not interested, or they’ve started seeing someone else, avoiding confrontation feels easier for them.
Overwhelmed by Options – With dating apps offering an endless supply of matches, people sometimes treat connections as disposable. It’s cruel, but it happens.
Fear of Rejection – Ironically, some people ghost because they’re afraid of being rejected themselves. They assume disappearing is less painful than facing potential rejection.
Lack of Emotional Maturity – Let’s face it, ghosting is the ultimate cop-out. It’s often a sign that someone doesn’t have the emotional skills to communicate properly.
How to Handle Being Ghosted
First things first – don’t take it personally. I know, easier said than done. But ghosting often says more about the person doing the ghosting than it does about you. Here’s how to move forward with grace (and maybe even a bit of sass):
Don’t Chase Them – If someone has ghosted you, resist the urge to send a flurry of “Did I do something wrong?” messages. You don’t need to beg for someone’s attention.
Take Back Control – Remember, you’re not powerless here. You get to decide how you respond. Silence can be just as powerful as their ghosting.
Reflect, Don’t Dwell – Sure, it’s fine to wonder what happened, but don’t spiral into self-doubt. Think about what you want in a partner, and whether someone who ghosts deserves a place in your life. Spoiler: they don’t.
Trust the Process – Dating can be frustrating, but ghosting is just a bump in the road. There are still plenty of people out there who are open, honest, and genuinely looking for love.
Why Ghosting Hurts So Much
Ghosting stings because it leaves you without answers. Humans crave closure—it’s how we make sense of things. When someone disappears, it creates a void, and your brain fills it with all kinds of worst-case scenarios. Did I say something wrong? Was I too keen? Here’s the truth: ghosting isn’t about you. It’s about them. Someone who ghosts lacks the emotional maturity to communicate, and frankly, you’re better off without that kind of energy in your life.
How to Avoid Ghosting in the Future
While you can’t control someone else’s behaviour, there are ways to spot ghosting red flags early on. Look out for inconsistent communication, vague plans, or a lack of genuine effort. If they’re not showing up for you in the early stages, they probably won’t later either.
And remember, good communication is a two-way street. Be clear about your intentions and what you’re looking for. That way, if someone isn’t on the same page, they’ll (hopefully) tell you instead of vanishing into thin air.
Final Thoughts
Ghosting may be part of modern dating, but it doesn’t have to define your experience. If someone ghosts you, take it as a sign they’re not the right match. The right person will value your time, your effort, and most importantly, you.
So, if you’ve been ghosted recently, don’t let it get you down. Dust yourself off, hold your head high, and remember—there’s someone out there who’s ready to meet you halfway. And trust me, they won’t disappear.
